


Pretty Setters (and company)

by ramxda_amemxra



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aobajousai, Aobajousai Volleyball Club - Freeform, F/F, Fukurodani - Freeform, Fukurodani Volleyball Club - Freeform, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Titles, I'm literally projecting on everyone lskjdfjskdjskldf, Karasuno, M/M, Nekoma, Nekoma Volleyball Club - Freeform, One of the names is my actual discord tag-, Protective Karasuno Volleyball Club, Rated teen and up for language, Shiratorizawa, Shiratorizawa Volleyball Club - Freeform, They're all lgbtq, They're all stoners just gonna say-, This is kinda v fanon-, You Should Have Come to Shiratorizawa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramxda_amemxra/pseuds/ramxda_amemxra
Summary: Oikawa creates a discord server for the setters, and everything goes downhill from there. Featuring: Everyone being gay disasters. Makki and Mattsun being the dream meme team. Oikawa slander, and Ushijima learning how to use emojis. God knows what else.
Relationships: (terushima/everyone they don't get together he's just a flirt), Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Ennoshita Chikara/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Goshiki Tsutomu/Koganegawa Kanji, Haiba Lev/Yaku Morisuke, Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira, Kinoshita Hisashi/Narita Kazuhito, Kita Shinsuke/Ojiro Aran, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru, Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi, Terushima Yuuji/Everyone, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 19
Kudos: 83





	1. Welcome to hell.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My family who has to listen to me write this at 4 AM](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+family+who+has+to+listen+to+me+write+this+at+4+AM).



> Okay so this is a list of who everyone is so you're not confused!!
> 
> Mr.Thiccboi/ No fucking ass - Tooru Oikawa  
> Barry b. Benson/THE BETTER TWIN!!!!! - Atsumu Miya  
> Kodzuken/ Paypal me #$30 - Kenma Kozume  
> screamsintotheabyss/ Little Fucking Shit- Koushi Sugawara  
> Tobio_Kageyama/Pure bean - Tobio Kageyama  
> SemiSemi/Semi-Triggered - Semi Eita  
> CornontheYahab/ Creampuff with satan filling - Shigeru Yahaba  
> Ima wall :D/ Baby I'm a different breed - Kanji Koganegawa  
> Bangsie/ Shira Boo-boo - Kenjirou Shirabu  
> please_stop_spamming_me_Bokuto_San/ Akaashi Keiji - Akaashi Keiji  
> Thing 1 - Issei Matsukawa  
> Thing 2 - Takahiro Hanamaki  
> SleepySuna - Suna Rintarou  
> Yamagucci - Tadashi Yamaguchi  
> Guess who - Hisashi Kinoshita  
> Lmao stfu - Akira Kunimi  
> MariYACHI - Yachi Hitoka  
> ROLLING THUNDAAA - Yuu Nishinoya  
> Yakult - Morinosuke Yaku  
> Ennooooo - Chikara Ennoshita  
> *commits arson* - Satori Tendou  
> Ushijima.Wakatoshi/comeshiratorizawa.noregrets - Ushijima Wakatoshi

**Mr.Thiccboi has created a server**

**Mr.Thiccboi has named the server “Bitches Who can Take a Joke”**

**Mr.Thiccboi has changed the server icon**

**Mr.Thiccboi has made 10 new channels**

**Mr.Thiccboi has created an invite**

_**\--- > Welcome Barry b. Benson#2765. Hope you brought pizza.** _

_**\--- > A wild Kodzuken#1169 has appeared. ** _

_**\--- > screamsintotheabyss#6666 has hopped into the server.** _

_**\--- > Glad you’re here, Tobio_Kageyama#1341** _

_**\--- > SemiSemi#7438 has joined the party.** _

_**\--- > CornontheYahab#2274 has landed.** _

_**\--- > Ima wall :D#3671 is here.** _

_**\--- > Bangsie#9072 is here.** _

_**\--- > please_stop_spamming_me_Bokuto_San has joined the party. ** _

**#General**

**Bangsie**

Wtf is this

**Mr.Thiccboi**

A discord server for setters duh

_**Kodzuken#1169 has left the server, come back soon** _

**Mr.Thiccboi**

Hold on

**please_stop_spamming_me_Bokuto_San**

Is it to late too leave-

_**Barry b. Benson has changed their nickname to THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!** _

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

...This’ll be fun

**Tobio_Kageyama**

Oikawa-San sent me an invite to this.. should I be scared that he unblocked me?

**screamsintotheabyss**

Don’t worry Kageyama, if he tries anything I’ll beat him up for you ^.^

_**Kodzuken#1169 is here.** _

**Kodzuken**

I expect my money within the week Oikawa

**CornontheYahab**

I check this server, and what the hell did I just walk into, some kind of drug trade?

**Kodzuken**

I told him I wouldn’t rejoin the server unless he paid me to

**screamsintotheabyss**

Oh really..did you now

**Bangsie**

...that’s quite interesting

**SemiSemi**

Quite interesting indeed..

**CornontheYahab**

You gentlemen have a point…

_**SemiSemi#7438 has left the server, come back soon** _

_**screamsintotheabyss#6666 has left the server, come back soon** _

_**CornontheYahab#2274 has left the server, come back soon** _

_**Bangsie#9072 has left the server, come back soon** _

**Mr.Thiccboi**

Holy shit there goes my college fund-

**Tobio_Kageyama**

I won’t leave Oikawa-San!

**Mr.Thiccboi**

Good for you little Tobio-Chan

**Ima wall :D**

I- why did everyone just leave-

**Mr.Thiccboi**

And where have YOU been

**Ima wall :D**

I just ate two dozen eggs

**Mr.Thiccboi**

Wtf are you, Gaston or some shit?

**Ima wall :D**

No!!!! But I heard eggs make you grow strong!1!@!!!

**Ima wall :D**

I didn’t have tome to cook tho so I just drank them

**Kodzuken**

I don’t know if the money is worth staying here..

**Mr.Thiccboi**

Koganegawa you sweet summer child, how you’re still alive is a mystery to me

**Mr.Thiccboi**

ANF KENMA IT’LL BE SO MUCH FUN ONCE PEOPLE STOP LEAVING AND EXTORTING ME FOR MONEY

**Kodzuken**

Whatever, I’m muting the server, don’t ping me unless you want me to kick you in the balls <3

**Mr.Thiccboi**

>:0

_**please_stop_spamming_me_Bokuto_San has changed their nickname to Akaashi Keiji** _

**Akaashi Keiji**

That’s better

**Akaashi Keiji**

I have to go for now, Bokuto-San wants me to set for him

**Ima wall :D**

OKIIIII SEE YOU LATER AKAASHI!!!1!!1!!!!!!1!!11

_**\--- > SemiSemi#7438 has landed.** _

_**\--- > Welcome screamsintotheabyss#6666. Hope you brought pizza.** _

_**\--- > CornontheYahab#2274 is here.** _

_**\--- > Bangsie#9072 has joined. ** _

**screamsintotheabyss**

Thank you for your generous donation Oikawa <3 <3

**SemiSemi**

Anyone wanna get BBQ this weekend? I suddenly got some money.

**Bangsie**

Sounds great

**CornontheYahab**

I’m down

**Mr.Thiccboi**

SUGA YOU STARTED THIS DKLJFDSFDKSLJ YANNOW WHAT, JUST FOR THAT

_**Mr.Thiccboi has changed screamsintotheabyss’s nickname to Little Fucking Shit** _

**Little Fucking Shit**

Oh it is ON

Little Fucking Shit has changed Mr.Thiccboi’s nickname to No fucking ass

_**Little Fucking Shit has changed Bangise’s nickname to Shira Boo-boo** _

_**Little Fucking Shit has changed CornontheYahab’s nickname to Creampuff with satan filling** _

_**Little Fucking Shit has changed Ima wall :D’s nickname to Baby I’m a different breed** _

_**Little Fucking Shit has changed Tobio_Kageyama’s nickname to Pure bean** _

_**Little Fucking Shit has changed Kodzuken’s nickname to Paypal me $30** _

_**Little Fucking Shit has changed SemiSemi’s nickname to Semi-Triggered** _

**Little Fucking Shit**

OH I KNOW WHAT YOU’LL REALLY HATE

**No fucking ass**

What the fuck are you doing- AND MY NICKNAME IS SO RUDE

**Little Fucking Shit**

Change it, and I’ll get everyone to leave again :D

**No fucking ass**

I hate you.. So much

**Little Fucking Shit**

Why thank you Oinky woinky

**Paypal me $30**

:popcorn:

**Shira Boo-boo**

:popcorn:

**Creampuff with satan filling**

:popcorn:

**Akaashi Keiji**

:popcorn:

_**Ushijima.Wakatoshi#6301 has joined the party** _

**Semi-Triggered**

:popcorn:

**Pure bean**

:popcorn:

**Baby I’m a different breed**

:popcorn:

**Akaashi Keiji**

I-

**No fucking ass**

YOU FUCKING DIDN’T YOU LITTLE BITCH ISTFG I’LL MAKE YOU REGRET THE DAY YOU WERE BORN

_**Ushijima.Wakatoshi has changed their nickname to comeshiratorizawa.noregrets** _

**comeshiratorizawa.noregrets**

Oikawa, you should've gone to Shiratorizawa, if you’re interested I have to transfer papers on standby.

**No fucking ass**

FUCK OFF I’M NOT COMING TO YOUR STUPID SHITTY SCHOOL

**Semi-Triggered**

Oikawa, baby, sweetheart, platonic love of my life, insult my school again, and I will literally shatter your kneecaps <3

**comeshiratorizawa.noregrets**

_Reasons Why Oikawa Tooru Should Attend Shiratorizawa_

  * _He is quite talented I believe that we could nurture his talents in a way that would benefit all parties_
  * _Aoba Jousai isn’t equipped to handle a higher caliber of setter such as Oikawa_
  * _Oikawa is wasting his talents_
  * _Oikawa does not like me that much, and I believe that this could improve our relationship_
  * _He would love it here_



_**No fucking ass has banned Ushijima.Wakatoshi#6301 from the server** _

**|**

**|** _**no reason was given** _

**No fucking ass**

Suga I’ll get you back one day, mark my words.

**Little Fucking Shit**

Try your best :3c

**No fuckings ass**

OKAY ANYWAYS, I’ve gathered you here today because y’all bitches need to confess and get ya manz

**Paypal me $30**

Whomst are you talking to :rolling_eyes: :hand:

**Semi-Triggered**

I don’t even like anyone-

**Shira Boo-boo**

Lmao same

**Akaashi Keiji**

:standing_man:

**Creampuff with satan filling**

:facepalm:

**Little Fucking Shit**

:man_running: :wind:

**Paypal me $30**

:expressionless_face:

**No fucking ass**

:facewithzipper:

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

:eye: :eye:

**No fucking ass**

And I thought Shiratorizawa was supposed to be 4 rlly smart people.

**No fucking ass**

Wait nvm lmao, u got in on a sports scholarship rite

**Semi-Triggered**

Wow, I wasn’t expecting to be called out on a Tuesday afternoon, but pop off I guess

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

Yeah, at least I have the balls to admit I like someone ;-;

**Little Fucking Shit**

Same, like Daichi’s thighs OMFG FDLKJFDKSJL

**No fucking ass**

HAVE YOU NOT SEEN IWA’S ARMS?!?!?!??! LIKE THE WORLD IS BEING DEPRIVED. I JUST WANT HIM TO LIKE HOLD ME IN HIS ARMS AND TELL ME HE LOVES ME. I WOULD LITERALLY DIE OF HAPPINESS.

**Creampuff with satan filling**

Oikawa: You need to confess cowards

Also Oikawa: oMG iWaS aRms R sO hOt, bUt i’Ll nEvEr tElL hIm bEcaUsE i dOn’T wAnT tO rUin oUr fRiEnDsHiP

**Pure bean**

I’m glad we can all agree that Oikawa is the biggest gay disaster to ever exist

**No fucking ass**

And you wonder why I hate you Tobio-chan

**Baby I’m a different breed**

jglkjerklwjerekjldjfdkldsklfd i luv goshiki kfdsdsfjk

**Semi-Triggered**

This is..

**Shira Boo-boo**

Well I can’t say I saw this one coming-

**No fucking ass**

YOU TWO NEED TO GET THEM TOGETHER FDKLLDFKJDFLKSKDLFS ASK GOSHIKI WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT KOGANEGAWA RN!!@!J!!!!!@!#! !!!

**Creampuff with satan filling**

Wait a minute, if we want to get the setters with their crushes, I know just the people to help

**Paypal me $30**

Not more people, someone end this hell

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

DFDFSJ WAIT ARE WE ADDING GAY DISASTERS-

**Little Fucking Shit**

Oh I have just the people :smirk:

_**\--- > Thing 1 has landed. ** _

_**\--- > Thing 2 is here. ** _

**No fucking ass**

MAKKI MATTSUN WHT RU DOING HERE-????//??

**Thing 1**

Yahaba sent us an invite

**Thing 2**

Dont worry babes, we gotchu guys, you’ll all have ur manz in no times

_**\--- > SleepySuna has joined the party ** _

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

Yo Sunarin

**SleepySuna**

Ew 

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

-.-

_**\--- > Welcome Yamagucci#5586. Hope you brought pizza. ** _

_**\--- > Guess who#3207 has joined the party.** _

_**\--- > Glad you’re here Lmao stfu#9109 ** _

_**\--- > A wild MariYACHI#7504 has appeared** _

**No fucking ass**

dshjdsjdlsfdsfjdsf WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE ADDED

**Little Fucking Shit**

Did you forget that literally almost everyone in all of our teams are gay disasters-?

**No fucking ass**

Touche

_**\--- > ROLLING THUNDAAA#4201 is here.** _

_**\--- > A wild Yakult#9481 has appeared ** _

_**\--- > Welcome Ennooooo.#1965 Hope you brought pizza.** _

_**\--- > *commits arson*#3309 has landed ** _

**ROLLING THUNDAAA**

OOOOO IS THIS A SERVER?!?!?!?!?!?!?

**Ennooooo**

No shit Sherlock

**ROLLING THUNDAAA**

I’M CALLING THE COPS ON YOU FOR CYBERBULLYING SDSJFDSKDFSFJDKS

**Enooooo**

Do it, but I won’t be responsible for you failing out of school and off the team :smilingface:

**Thing 2**

Did we all just realize how much power Ennoshita holds-

**Little Fucking Shit**

Yeah, this is why he’s gonna be captain next year

**SleepySuna**

Honey, I’m not even here, I’m an illusion

**Little Fucking Shit**

Oiks, Oikiwi, bby, hunny, queen, gimme them admin powers

**No fucking ass**

Why, so you can ruin my life more than you already have?

**Paypal me $30**

I snorted

**MariYACHI**

AH THERE’S SO MANY PEOPLE HERE, I’M SORRY PLEASE DON’T EAT ME

**Yamagucci**

I feel 

**Little Fucking Shit**

Oh hi guys- also Oikawa, give me admin before I send Iwaizumi screenshots of you fawning over his arms :)

_**No fucking ass has granted screamsintotheabyss#6666 admin powers** _

**No fucking ass**

I would rather keep my best friend please and thank you

_**Little Fucking Shit has changed the server name to “Gay disaster support group”** _

***commits arson***

What is this madness

**Yakult**

I don’t even know half the people here

**Guess who**

Wow, I was actually included in something this time :/

**Little Fucking Shit**

Kinooooooo bby, we love you TwT <3

**Lmao stfu**

Oikawa I’m literally this close to blocking you :handmakingokaysign:

**No fucking ass**

but.. the fingers are touching

**Lmao stfu**

Exactly.

**Ennooooo**

So.. what is this for exactly..?

**Shira Boo-boo**

Oh right you guys are new-

**No fucking ass**

OOH YEAH NEWBIES NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE I JUST WANT TO SAY-

**Paypal me $30**

Welcome to hell.


	2. Hello God? It's me again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> List of everyone here so far  
> Mr.Thiccboi/ No fucking ass - Tooru Oikawa  
> Barry b. Benson/THE BETTER TWIN!!!!! - Atsumu Miya  
> Kodzuken/ Paypal me #$30 - Kenma Kozume  
> screamsintotheabyss/ Little Fucking Shit- Koushi Sugawara  
> Tobio_Kageyama/Pure bean - Tobio Kageyama  
> SemiSemi/Semi-Triggered - Semi Eita  
> CornontheYahab/ Creampuff with satan filling - Shigeru Yahaba  
> Ima wall :D/ Baby I'm a different breed - Kanji Koganegawa  
> Bangsie/ Shira Boo-boo - Kenjirou Shirabu  
> please_stop_spamming_me_Bokuto_San/ Akaashi Keiji - Akaashi Keiji  
> Thing 1 - Issei Matsukawa  
> Thing 2 - Takahiro Hanamaki  
> SleepySuna - Suna Rintarou  
> Yamagucci - Tadashi Yamaguchi  
> Guess who - Hisashi Kinoshita  
> Lmao stfu - Akira Kunimi  
> MariYACHI - Yachi Hitoka  
> ROLLING THUNDAAA - Yuu Nishinoya  
> Yakult - Morinosuke Yaku  
> Ennooooo - Chikara Ennoshita  
> *commits arson* - Satori Tendou  
> Ushijima.Wakatoshi/comeshiratorizawa.noregrets - Ushijima Wakatoshi  
> Rice Rice Baby - Shinsuke Kita

**SleepySuna**

Hello? God? It’s me again, if you’re listening please take me away.

**No fucking ass**

Someone called?

**SleepySuna**

Oikawa I will literally break each and everyone one of your fingers if you do not shut the fuck up

**Ennooooo**

Woah hold on there what’s going on-

**SleepySuna**

I was just minding my own business, trying to get into the clubroom, but before I could even get to the door Osamu and Atsumu accidentally hit me while they were fighting, and I almost fell down the stairs. 

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

SUNA WE ALREADY SAID SORRY DFJKSFDJFDKLk

**SleepySuna**

Did I ask you to speak Miya.

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

No-?

**SleepySuna**

That wasn’t a question.

**Little Fucking Shit**

That isn’t even that bad Suna- I once walked in on Tanaka and Nishinoya trying to “seduce Kiyoko” they were literally twerking on her. I haven’t slept well since.

**Yamagucci**

Wait so you’re telling me the time Daichi banned Nishinoya-San and Tanaka-San from being closer than 10 feet to Kiyoko was because they were TWERKING ON HER???

**ROLLING THUNDAAA**

OKAY BUT IN MY DEFENSE… actually I don’t have anything to say

**MariYACHI**

...you guys think you’ve seen bad things, wait until you become the manager

**Creampuff with satan filling**

I-

**No fucking ass**

Oh my god- Yacchan are you like.. mentally okay-?

**MariYACHI**

*slams therapy pamphlet on table* GET IN BITCHES WE’RE GOING SHOPPING

***commits arson***

WAit GROUP THERAPY DFKLSJJDFKSFJDK PLS I CAN FINALLY EXPRESS ALL OF MY CHILDHOOD TRAUMA 

**SleepySuna**

Hm that’s nice and all, 10/10 would go, but I need to tell you the rest of my story. I NEED YOU TO FEEL MY PAIN

**Akaashi Keiji**

Understandable continue

**Yamagucci**

I- when did you even get here

**Akaashi Keiji**

..oh honey I’m always here, we’re always here.

**Semi-Triggered**

I think you just unlocked a hidden fear. Chat lurkers :D

**Akaashi Keiji**

Good to know, chat lurkers sound off

**Paypal me $30**

Here

**Guess who**

Present

**Lmao stfu**

Hi

**Shira Boo-boo**

…

**Creampuff with satan filling**

:peacesign:

**Yakult**

Sup

**No fucking ass**

There’s… so many of them

**MariYACHI**

Chat lurkers are so scary.. They’re just always there.. Always reading everything you say, even if you delete it they’re already seen it and possibly screenshotted for blackmail. You can never escape.

**Ennooooo**

I’m usually a chat lurker, but this server may actually be interesting 

**SleepySuna**

LITERALLY SHUT YOUR BITCHASS UP AND LET ME TELL MY GODDAMN STORY

**Creampuff with satan filling**

I- proceed

**SleepySuna**

Thank you. ANYWAYS. I finally get into the clubroom, and I see Aran eating ritz crackers. Now normally I wouldn’t be one to police people’s eating habits, I have a shitty diet myself. BUT HE SHOVELED THE ENTIRE BOX OF CRACKERS DOWN HIS FUCKING THROAT IN 3 SECONDS. 

**Pure bean**

Who the fuck

What the fuck

When the fuck

Where the fuck

Why the fuck

How the fuck

**Semi-Triggered**

*sniff* they grow up so fast

**Little Fucking Shit**

..did I read that shit right? Hold on

**_Little Fucking Shit has created an invite_ **

**Yamagucci**

Oh no- who’s being added now sbdjds

**\--- > Rice Rice Baby#3106 has joined the party.**

**Rice Rice Baby**

Uh- hi?

**No fucking ass**

Kita so nice of you to join us, just a quick little question. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ARAN?!?!?@??!

**Rice Rice Baby**

Uhm- I mean the Miyas probably drove him mad. Being honest here everyone on our team is one step away from going insane.

**SleepySuna**

I’m not even religious, but amen

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

Amen

**Rice Rice Baby**

Atsumu… you’re literally the reason why we’re like this :D

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

***commits arson***

Not me reading half of that before realizing it was a copypasta-

**Little Fucking Shit**

Same lmao

**Shira Boo-boo**

Wow, Atsumu can’t even come up with his own comebacks, how lame

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

YES I CAN- I DON’T KNOW WHAT YER ON BUT I HAVE THE BEST COMEBACKS EVER

**Paypal me $30**

As if. You literally simp for clorox man, and you attacked your brother because you couldn’t accept the fact that he didn’t share your dream of going pro. And the fact that your username is literally “the better twin” says a lot.

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

I- that hurt Kenmaaaaaaaa

**_THE BETTER TWIN!!!!! Is offline_ **

**Little Fucking Shit**

Who wants to bet he’s lurking on invisible mode waiting for us to be sorry so he can come back and boost his ego

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

THIS IS BLASPHEMY, I’M CALLING MY LAWYER

**Shira Boo-bo**

Awe, look at you using big words

**SleepySuna**

Good job little man, we’re so proud of you

***commits arson***

Too bad I didn’t have my camera to record this wonderful moment

**No fucking ass**

Babies first big word

**THE BETTER TWIN!!!!!**

What is this bully Atsumu day?

**Little Fucking Shit**

Oh honey, by joining this server you just agreed to a lifetime of targeting, we know where you live, and we know what you look like. There’s no escape now.

**No fucking ass**

HAHA ATSUMU

**Little Fucking Shit**

I hope you know that goes for you as well Oikawa :3

**No fucking ass**

Fuck-

**Thing 2**

Lmao get wrekt

**No fucking ass**

Wow, you finally come online at 2:28 in the afternoon just to witness my pain

**Thing 1**

Oikawa, the only things I live for is you being bullied, and the love of my life xx shawty

**Thing 2**

Aw babie, ily you too, no homo tho, only homie

**Creampuff with satan filling**

You know I can never tell if they’re actually dating or not

**No fucking ass**

Honestly you’re right, they could be playing tonsil tennis, get married, have kids and still say no homo

**Thing 2**

Oh yeah that reminds me, we’ve made a list

**Thing 1**

Oh yessss the list

**No fucking ass**

All those s’s because you’re a snake >:(

**Thing 1**

Aw thank you babes I appreciate it

**Thing 2**

“BABES”??? YOU’RE CHEATING ON ME WITH THIS DOLLAR GENERAL SHIT HEAD GIRAFFE NECK CREATED MY OWN DISEASE LOOKING ASS, MICROWAVE DINNER THAT’S COLD IN THE MIDDLE, DROPPED ON HIS HEAD AS A BABY, SLEEVE IN WATER, SOCKS IN A PUDDLE, RAQUEL FROM BARBIE LIFE IN THE DREAMHOUSE FUNHOUSE MIRROR BITCH?!?!?!?

**Thing 1**

Chill you smexy mofo, I only have eyes 4 u :kissy_face:

**Thing 1**

No homo tho

**Ennooooo**

Me trying to process what in the hell just happened :,D

**Thing 1**

Just bros being bros my guy

**ROLLING THUNDAAA**

YES BROOOOO

**Yakult**

I am honestly very concerned for the mental state of everyone in this server. ESPECIALLY including me.

***commits arson***

I mean, I’m still on board for that group therapy 

**YamaGUCCI**

I think I scared my last therapist off- well not me exactly, but Tsukki… that’s a VERY long story.

**Thing 2**

Speaking of Tsukki

**Thing 1**

THe list >:)

**SleepySuna**

I am suddenly..offline

**Akaashi Keiji**

So what exactly is this list you’re referring to?

**Thing 1**

Good question my dear setter friend

**Thing 2**

The list just so happens to say all the pairings of everyone we’ve compiled data on

**Little Fucking Shit**

So like our crush?

**Thing 2**

Exactly

**Shira Boo-boo**

I still don’t know who you’re talking about

**Semi-Triggered**

Me neither

**Pure bean**

Yeah I don’t like anyone either

**No fucking ass**

If you could see how hard I’m facepalming rn

**Thing 1**

Well it’s okay, because without further adieu I give you the list

**Thing 2**

_ Yamaguchi _ X  _ Tsukishima _

_Koganegawa_ X _Goshiki_

_ Ennoshita _ X  _ Tanaka _

_ Kageyama _ X  _ Hinata _

_ Yahaba _ X  _ Kyoutani _

Kunimi X  _ Kindaichi _

_ Tendou _ X  _ Ushijima _

_ Oikawa _ X  _ Iwaizumi _

_ Nishinoya _ X  _ Asahi _

_ Kinoshita _ X  _ Narita _

_ Akaashi _ X  _ Bokuto _

_ Atsumu _ X  _ Sakusa _

_ Kenma _ X  _ Kuroo _

_ Shirabu _ X  _ Semi _

_ Suna _ X  _ Osamu _

_ Yachi _ X  _ Kiyoko _

_ Suga _ X  _ Daichi _

_ Yaku _ X  _ Lev _

_ Kita _ X  _ Aran _

**Shira Boo-boo**

I-

**Semi-Triggered**

YOU REALLY THINK I LIKE SHIRABU??? HE’S THE PERSON I LIKE THE LEAST.. Well aside from Oikawa and Atsumu

**Pure bean**

YEAH, THIS HAS TO BE A MISTAKE, I DON’T LIKE THE BOKE

**Creampuff with satan filling**

Ew, I don’t like Kyoutani. He’s always late to practice, mean to everyone, and just ew-

**Guess who**

Pinning him against the wall during our match says otherwise~

**No fucking ass**

Yahaba you did WHAT?!

**Creampuff with satan filling**

THAT WAS DIFFERENT OKAY, HE WAS BEING AN ASS

**No fucking ass**

WHEN IS HE NOT

**Creampuff with satan filling**

Touche.. Okay fine, maybe I like him a LITTLE tiny miniscule amount

**Semi-Triggered**

Okay that’s fine and dandy, but Shirabu and I don’t like each other-

**Thing 2**

Okay, whatever makes you feel better 

**Semi-Triggered**

Come on Shirabu, back me up here

**Semi-Triggered**

Shirabu?

**Semi-Triggered**

@Shira Boo-boo where r uuuuuuu

**Thing 1**

Uh oh, looks like you messed up.

**Semi-Triggered**

Oh yeah? And how’s that

**No fucking ass**

Well Semi-chan when you saw the list you said Shirabu was the person who you like the least :/

**Semi-Triggered**

And?

**Little Fucking Shit**

I’ll break it down for you. Shirabu likes you. The list exposed this. You said you like him the least. You broke his heart.

**Semi-Triggered**

Oh shit- FUCK WAIT NO

**Thing 2**

Go get ‘em tiger 

**No fucking ass**

Text us later and tell us how it went xx but that was exhausting I’m going to sleep

**Little Fucking Shit**

Same

**Thing 2**

Oh Issei and I are getting into bed for sure,, but I can’t say that we’ll be sleeping ;)

**Thing 1**

*slurps*

**Guess who**

I hate it here so much, goodbye.

.

.

.

.

.

.

**Pure bean**

Wait what about me and Hinata??

**Pure bean**

Guys?

**Pure bean**

Anyone????

**Pure bean**

Hello????????

**Pure bean**

I hate you all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I'm seriously behind on school, and low on ideas TwT. I added Kita per request, and Aran will be here soon, along with the other half of the crew ;) if you have any ideas or things you want to be put into this story go ahead and say them, I'm open to anything! Also some or all of the next chapter won't be written in chat form, but in normal story form, and it'll have a smidgen of angst. :33

**Author's Note:**

> HSDSDFJ I hope you liked this chapter- I don't really know what's happening next, I'm writing this whenever I feel like it- so updates are whenever I have time. I tried to make this less fanon, like we all know Suga isn't just the doting mother, like he's literally satan. This fic probably will end up being fanon, but I'm trying to make it as canon as I can-


End file.
